WHY ON EARTH AM I MARRIED TO THIS GUY?

Why didn’t I see it before? Why did I let my emotions blind me? Why didn’t I meet this ideal guy in the office before? WHY?????!!!!!!!

WAAAAHHHHH!!!! Are you crying at night because you’re so frustrated with your husband? Do you sometimes feel like leaving him and just attend to yourself, career, and kids? Do you want to sometimes strangle him or maybe just wish the genie to make him disappear? I did before. But that was years and yea………………rs ago(hahaha).

I love my husband so much and I am so happy, blessed and complete because next to God, he is my joy. That’s not how I felt about him during the first two years of our marriage. Before, all I see in him was the negative; His weaknesses, his shortcomings, his bad habits, and his failures. I was always complaining. Always mad. Always sarcastic. Always unhappy. The only time that I would really smile was when he would fall flat on his face because he didn’t listen to me. And I rejoiced in that. I would even tell my friends that he made this huge mistake because he didn’t listen to Muah (me)!!!!! Because in the past, it’s all about Muah (me), Muah (me), Muah (me)!!!

Yes! I was so full of myself. I was proud. I was self-seeking. I was selfish. That’s why I was blind and unteachable before. It’s not so easy to admit one’s foible but it’s the starting point towards change. There was a time when I was nagging my husband that I got so irritated with my voice. I realized that I was really like a monster and I am not worth emulating by my children. It was such a turning point in my “nagging and complaining career”.

To be a good wife is not an overnight thing. It’s a process and a commitment at the same time. We have to let go of our old habits, our unrealistic standards, and our competitive selves. When we said yes to our husbands on our wedding day, we also said yes to the gamut of their idiosyncrasies.

So why on earth are you married to your husband? First, so that you can be loved by an imperfect man because you’re an imperfect woman. Second, so that you can be cared by a limited and a weak man because you are also a limited and a weak woman. Thirdly, so that you can be protected, be provided, and be led by the not so ideal man because you are not so ideal as well. I don’t mean to be harsh but it’s the truth. You and I are not perfect. So let’s stop demanding. Let’s just accept and love them for what they are.

I was liberated and freed when I started appreciating my husband than criticizing him. I realized that my relationship with him is more important than all my expectations being met. The person is more important than the situation. Your husband is more important than your standards and rules. I stopped teaching him. (I slip from time to time!!!!) I refrain from talking before thinking. ( I breathe deeply and then I would talk a lot ) Kidding aside, I deliberately shut my mouth and just let the moment pass. It works!

You and I will never be perfect wives neither our husbands but we can be a loving one. For the past five years, I could say that my husband has grown to be more certain about where he wants to take our family because he knows I’m at his back supporting him. He knows that I won’t lambast him to my friends and family even if he fails because I will protect him. I am my husband’s partner in all areas of life. I’m his best friend. I’m one with him since the day we got married and I won’t hurt him because I will get hurt too.

So again, why on earth are you married to your husband? So that you will experience the beauty and essence of life in the challenges, ups and downs, trials, and victories that you will share with your husband. So that you will become more beautiful in the inside as you love, understand, and serve your husband.

Today, start saying I appreciate you my husband. I love you and I will always be here for you. You will see the result in no time. A successful marriage and a strong home are in your hands to make as you let God help you and lead you.

Live life!