I didn’t sign up for this! That’s the silent scream in my head every time my husband is sound asleep while I’m “Sleepless in Santolan (Seattle)” taking care of our one year old-son.
There’s nothing else in the world that I love doing right now than to nurture my baby, but, every six months, I also get tired. I’m a superwoman, you know! Ehem!!!
My husband sees me like that because he said I am married to a superman. Funny, but it’s true. He is my superman, next to God of course.
Superman is a fictional character who can do almost anything as long as kryptonite is not around. My husband can’t fly nor can he freeze water just by breathing on it. And there are hundreds of other things he cannot do but still, he is my superman.
Superman is completely different from us and he is endowed with tremendous power and so is my husband. He is not like me or anyone else in the world; except for his addiction to pizza and movies. He is unique in so many ways and it takes a crazy and a funny woman like me to understand him. He also has the power to make my life miserable or not. The kind of power he has is definitely not the same as superman’s but it’s stronger and it can affect generations.
After being married to him for seven years now, I came to know what are his likes and dislikes, his interests, his dreams, his strengths and of course his weaknesses. The last word was the first one I noticed from day one but his strengths were noticed barely a month ago. Hahaha!!! That’s the problem. I always see what’s wrong with him rather than what’s good and positive. And that is a kryptonite. My words are like kryptonite weakening the strength and the power of my own superman.
In 2005, while we were in the hearth of God’s purifying furnace, I unceasingly plead to God to change my husband. I asked him to make my husband like me because I’m bright, independent, aggressive, and perfect! Huh!!! That’s how I saw myself before. Good thing God didn’t agree with me and I felt sort of frustrated. I didn’t get my way. Instead, I learned from the Bible that wives must completely submit to their husbands and must serve them, for they are the head of the family. Women’s role is to be the helper of their spouse.
I know that principle before we got married but I didn’t bother to let it sink to my soul. I just went along and did my own way. There was a time when my husband and I were in the same band and basically we work together outside. But, I still had to do all the chores in the house. I always complained and kept telling God that it’s not fair. I still have to serve him? What?!!! But the obedient girl I am (applause please!), I yielded to God’s instruction.
I could say that when I stopped grumbling, even though I had more work load than my husband, things became easier for me. It’s easier and much lighter in the inside. It’s not about who’s better anymore but it’s about what else can I do for me to show love. I no longer compete or compare but I complement. And it’s like moving out from a crowded and suffocating world to a smog-free, spacious, and peaceful one.
God designed man to be the head and the woman the helper. The latter is not weaker but strong. God knows that man has a heavier burden of leading and providing for the family and he needs all the support he could get to accomplish that.
The world right now is in chaos because part of that is women do not let the men lead. Wives disrespect their husbands in front of their children. Men are not the authority anymore in the family. Wives compare themselves with their husbands instead of understand. Btw, do you know that men can focus one task at a time? It’s not their fault. It’s just that, that’s the kind of wiring they need to have because they are the leader. They need to focus.
Regardless if you earn more than your husband or you have more work load than him, you still need to let him lead. You still have to respect, serve, and love him. And when you do that, things will change. All of a sudden he will help you with the laundry, he will be more attentive to you when you talk to him, and he will be more caring and loving. Love begets love.
So…… let you and I plant the seed of understanding, patience, kindness, and love even if they are not perfect and ideal. We are doing ourselves a favor. Besides, our children will see that our character is worth following and it will have a great impact to them without our knowing.
Let us love and understand our husbands unconditionally. Then and only then, love will flourish in our homes. It will be contagious and will convict and inspire anyone around it.
Do you want to see your husband become the superhero that your children will be proud of? Don’t be a kryptonite. Rather, be the yellow sun; because that’s what makes superman strong.
I believe that we have a vital role to play to shape the course of the future. Let’s empower, support, and help our husbands and let our children see that so that they will be secured and have something worth following in the future. Let’s build a strong home, superwomen!
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